That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
