She is in my trunk
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
