my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
50% drunk capacity currently
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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