Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Couch. On fire.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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