nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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