i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize