with your own penis?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
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If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
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Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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