Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
