Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
