batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
