Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
