you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
