4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize