You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
They have beer where we have blood.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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