I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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