theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
