goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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