I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You can't special order awesome
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
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you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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