woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
drinking out of a sandbucket again
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
