moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
