Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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