It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine