It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.