Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.