wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.