I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
