Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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