I want to make a zoo with you.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you would pick up someone in the library
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
