apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I want a musical about memes.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
