I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
