she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Boobs are out for the taking
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
