Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(940): View more from Texas

I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!

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(509): View more from Washington

Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.

(406): View more from Montana

IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.

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(409): View more from Texas

white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box

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(248): View more from Michigan

Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...

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(734): View more from Michigan

Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.

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(352): View more from Florida

not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this

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