if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
