Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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