when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
