it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
