Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
