He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
