Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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