I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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