u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
