That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
