I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
