At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
