clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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