Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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