in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize