you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
