i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize