would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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