oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
