I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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