strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
