you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
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Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
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it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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