I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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