can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
