Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
