you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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