why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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