dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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