just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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