So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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