are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
