he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
