I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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