You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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