if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
