my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
