Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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