i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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