I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
